He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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