Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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