11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
