Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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