I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
