i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
