if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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