but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
