Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
