even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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