If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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