Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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