So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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