Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize