I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
