She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
