Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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