Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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