I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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