Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ugly people sure do ruin things
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
