There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
