found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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