At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
