This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
