SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
