He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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