trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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