You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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