oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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