i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he puts the penis in happiness.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Found the puke drawer
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
