is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
As shirtless as possible
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
