Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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