New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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