i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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