remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
