no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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