I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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