Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
