if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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