Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
