His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
