Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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