I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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