we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
