I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
