is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
whose ass print is on the piano?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
