OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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