Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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