I think I am morally bankrupt
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
