the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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