I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
