You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if only i could text you this smell
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize