Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
