it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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