We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
