it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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