Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
