I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
