3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
