we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
