sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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