he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
