Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
