I'm so fucking centered right now
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
