i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
